So you’ve made a life-changing decision. You finally found the courage to jump in those deep, unknown waters, and right now, you’re sitting and thinking: ‘OMG! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!’. Exactly, what have YOU DONE?!
‘Was it a right decision?’. ‘What if things don’t go to plan?’ ‘What if your world falls apart now?’. It might, but relax, because if it happens, it will only be for your own good. Crazy, right? Counter-intuitive? Yep! Ridiculous? Possibly! Just keep reading, my friend. Take it from me…
‘…One way ticket
A suitcase full of dreams
To the islands of tea and rain
For love and a better tomorrow…’
~ NN Lambert
I was in the bloom of life, when I faced the decision of leaving my entire world behind, and emigrate to another country ‘for love and a better tomorrow’.
I then bought a one way ticket, packed my stuff, and waved goodbye to my surprised family, friends – who didn’t quite believe it – and rest of the shocked or envious (or both!) lot who couldn’t care less. I cared though, as I was kissing goodbye to my entire life as I knew it.
It felt like starting my whole existence from the beginning. Imagine a tree taken out of the ground together with its roots only to be moved into a completely different place. Will it survive? I wanted to believe so!
I knew I’d have to learn a new language, and embrace the entire culture, while adjusting my way of living and thinking from the big city to a small town. I knew, I’d have to find a job, make new friends, eat different food, cope with milk in my tea (bye, bye lemon!), and moody weather (shhhh, don’t tell Brits, ok?). Most importantly, I was aware that I’ll have to share a place with a man – foreigner, and yep, spaceman (from Mars or something they reckon), after living in my ‘sanctuary’ for a good couple of years. Was I scared? Would you be?
Well, to my big surprise, that day when I actually sat down on the plane to the UK, I managed to suppress my urge to control and embrace the unknown. Maybe because I had my head in the clouds – literally, or because of being closer to the angels than usual?
It felt SO liberating! Unknowingly, I looked my fears straight in the eye and smiled. They only got confused, started blushing and disappeared, leaving a free space for excitement and hope.
The thing is, that I was coming from a rather dysfunctional home (alcohol, mental abuse, you don’t want to know more), where every day was one big unknown, that made the sense of security just a figment of the imagination. Therefore, I went into adulthood thinking that control equals safety…
Only now, after nearly a decade of conscious self-development, and my journey through a spiritual hell, I know how limiting that belief was! Why? Because it dictates your entire attitude towards life, and forces you to desperately control the uncontrollable, especially other people together with their actions, opinions and emotions. Fortune tellers and weathermen have their fan clubs for a reason, don’t they? Any idea why?
Nevertheless, back to my trip, I was relaxed believing that I was flying to my Dreamland, only to see my dreams going down the drain gradually further and further, down to rock bottom (that’s where things started to get interesting!).
What if, right here, right now, you could imagine that decision you’ve just made is like a trip to YOUR OWN Dreamland. You spent all of this time to build a beautiful and robust boat, then launched it and headed towards your better, brighter future. Unfortunately, in the middle of the sea of life, your boat has been struck by lightning and destroyed, and all you’ve been left with was… YOU….
So now, you are floating hopelessly, trying to remain on the surface in the middle of the storm, and yes, all of this is scary… It’s dark, cold, wet and dangerous, but you’ve got your two hands and several very powerful built-in tools: your mind, survival instinct and hope. By the time you reach the shore of your Dreamland, your hands will be strong enough to build a shelter, and your mind focused on the solutions (‘How can I find some food now?’), not obstacles (‘Oh great! I don’t have any food!’).
You’ve just learnt that you swam in your own rhythm, and life in its own. All you could do was to adjust your speed and attitude to it – not the other way around! Even though it would feel great to control life, but would it be fun? Would life challenge you and let you grow then? Would it allow you to make mistakes and learn from them? Would it leave any room for this fascinating thing called good luck? Sometimes ‘this fella’ strikes unexpectedly, you know, just like that lightning, and makes you feel alive, right before you feel like closing your eyes and dying.
So let it be, my friend. Just keep swimming and chanting ‘che sarà, sarà, whatever will be, will be’. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, and, at the end of the day, this ‘crazy cruise’ is worth going on. Just focus on the sun on your face, breeze in your hair and the views. Falling planes of dreams, storms and lightnings will always be there anyway, but you – stronger and stronger with every single survival.
BTW: What hasn’t killed you and made you stronger?
